As we head into week 7 and I’m talking to more and more people online and offline, I am noticing we are all struggling with similar things.
Not knowing how long this will last can be unsettling and finding a rhythm that works is still a work in progress. We are still trying to navigate this new normal and figuring things out.Ā
Due to the pandemic and related stressors, I have been focussing on helping as many people as I can.Ā
These times are difficult for all of us and the social distancing is taking its toll on people. Parents are getting overwhelmed with having to work from home and homeschool, not being able to see loved ones or friends increases the sense of isolation, the complicated task of having to disinfect everything you buy can become burdensome, the lack of income is quite stressful as wellā¦ the list can go on and on.Ā
People are reporting a variety of difficulties in coping with COVID19, such as fear and incessant worry, being angry or irritable, sleep problems, difficulty focussing and concentrating, being indecisive, increase consumption of substances compared to their usual intake, more conflict within the home.Ā
Iāve heard comments like āIām going nutsā, š āThis is insaneā, āIām losing itā, āMy spouse and I are fighting all the timeā, āIām scared my parents will get sickā, āWhat if I get sick, who will take care of my kids?ā….
There is no miraculous solution for this but apply some of the following strategies :Ā
stay active,
stay connected with friends and loved ones,
reconnect with your body,
practice self-care on a daily basis,
make time for yourself,
ask for help if you need it,
accept the situation for what it is and the feelings that arise,
focus on what you can control,
try to stay present as best as you can and remember that this will not last forever,
do all that you can to stay healthy,
minimize self-imposed stress,
accept that your normal way of functioning/living has to change,
itās okay not to be productive all the time (these are stressful times,
you may need to rest more and take more breaks and do less),
make time for yourself,
create a realistic routine,
go on a news diet,
monitor your intake of substances
My psychology and coaching practices mainly focus on parenting, anxiety, stress management and coping with life transitions, such as what we are going through right now. So, if any of you were hesitating to reach out, please do not hesitate. I am here for you. Iām just a callĀ āļø or an email away. All sessions are via video in the comfort of your home, your car or the park š
If you are not sure about working one-on-one, I have also created with a friend anonline course to support you through the pandemic. We have set the price really low until May 15th in order to reach as many people as we can (ONLY $35). We know many people have been hit hard financially and cannot afford to hire a psychologist or a life coach.
This was our way to give back and contribute. š
šThe course has 8 video lessons that cover topics such as coping with anxiety, parenting, helping kids out, dealing with uncertainty and fear, how to deal with the lack of control in this situation,Ā how to best support your children through all this, and so much more.Ā The videos have 4 hours of content and many FREE Bonuses, including guided meditations for children and adults and more free talks.
I have no doubt that many of you will find very helpful tips in this course. You can even offer it as a gift to someone you care for.Ā Ā
So, thatās it for now. Stay safe everyone, practice social distancing but keep in touch with loved ones.Ā I am leaving you with this quote:
āLife isnāt about waiting for the storm to passā¦Itās about learning to dance in the rain.ā
Vivian Greene
Wishing you all āØto stay safe and healthy āØ!
With gratitude, Ā Ā šæ
Dr. Gina
P.S.: One final thing:Ā
Those who know me, know that I aim to serve, so please submit any suggestions of content you would love to see in my membership site or in my newsletter.
Join this community if you need support. It is a positive community that I and a friend, Richard Robins, a wonderful social worker, lead. Ottawaās Pandemic Mental Health Support Group is on Facebook.Ā
Let me tell you this. Every single choice you make matters!
Are you spending more time taking care of other people than of yourself?
Ā As a result of being such an independent, fierce, productive woman, who can do it all, does it seems like you are not getting the support that you need?
Ā Self-love is at the core of all the choices we make. And boundaries are the foundation for proper self-care.Ā
What are you willing to accept from others and where do you draw the line?Ā Ā
Ā We teach people how to treat us. And if we donāt value ourselves, our time, or our health, why would others?Ā
Ā Your actions speak louder than your words. Your boundaries are a reflection of your level of self-love and self-esteem.Ā
Ā If your boundaries are loose, you are signaling that you value others more than you do yourself.
Having healthy boundaries means asking for what we want in all spheres of our lives: work, family, kids, partners, friends.Ā
Ā To be happy and successful at anything in your life you need to put yourself first and then you can take care of everyone else.Ā
Ā If you donāt love yourself, you will betray yourself over and over again. With time it will wear at your mind, body and soulā¦
This is why, as Caroline Myss says, people donāt heal. Because they are not willing to face the truth.
Did you know that self-esteem, boundaries and choices are all inter-connected?
Ā If youāre not sure and want to experience it first hand, try this out for a weekĀ or two and notice if there has been a shift:
First step: Awareness. šStart paying attention to ALL the choices you make throughout the day, big AND small. And notice the consequence of the choices you have just made. If you can journal about it to keep track. We easily forget!Ā
Every single choice we make has an impact. Trust me!
Second step: Stop and think. šNow that you realize how many choices we make in a single day. Take a second or two and notice the choice you are about to make and ask yourself this question:
Is what Iām about to do reflective of self-love or love of the other, or is it a choice based on fear or guilt or a sense of obligation?Ā
Third step:Action. šNow it is time to actually go into action. Youāve determined if this choice was out of love or not. If it is not, are you willing to pass, say no, set a boundary to honour yourself?Ā
Ā
Still hesitating, then ask yourself āIf I wasnāt scared or did not feel guilty or obligated, what would I do?ā And do it!
Fourth step: Taking responsibility. š If you were able to make a choice based on self-love. Thatās awesome. Keep it up. You will reap the benefits, no doubt about it.Ā
Ā
If you still struggle with fear, guilt or sense of obligation, and let these emotions make the choices for you. Thatās awesome too!Ā
Huh? You wonder. Well yes. Now you know the source of your stress, overwhelm, burnt out, depression, anxietyā¦ you name it.Ā
You get to turn your life around NOW!Ā
Before I let you go, keep this quote in mind:
āThe life you have today is based on the choices you made yesterday and the life you will have tomorrow is based on the choices you make today.ā
If you want to find happiness, be mindful of the choices you make. They matter more than you think!
šæP.S.: Don’t miss my bi-weeklypodcast episodes and submit questions or topics of interest. Episodes 6 & 13 are relevant to today’s topic. A review on iTunes would help people find us!!
šæANNOUNCEMENT.: I’ve been working diligently on my membership site. It will be chock-full of resources of all kinds (online courses, audios, videos, PDFs, helpful lessons AND an online community where we can connect and ask questions, Q & A calls). All at a really affordable monthly price for those who cannot afford one-on-one coaching.Ā
Those who know me, know that I aim to serve, so please submit any suggestions of content you would love to see in there or in my newsletter.
Wishing you all a āØHappy New Year āØand Health ā¤ļøabove all else. The rest will naturally follow!
I get it. In this day and age of instant gratification, everything moving at the speed of light and the pressure from peers and society to be highly productive, you might be wonderingā¦
āWhere does the time go?ā
For me, I get caught up in the busy-ness of being a mom and my career. I can easily get distracted with a pile of chores and obligations and an endless to-do list.
We compare ourselves to others and feel we need to keep up, leaving us energetically drained, overwhelmed and possibly feeling as though life is passing you by.Ā
Am I striking a chord?
If I am, I want you to know there IS a better way! Let me explain…
The first step is to stop the spin cycle and start making YOU the priority in your life again.
Admittedly, life was simpler 100 years ago. With no technology, things moved much slower. Not that people didnāt work hard, it was more about fewer things distracting us and filling our mind on a 24/ 7 basis.
For example, whatās the first thing you do when you lay down to rest after work?
Maybe close your eyes for a minute – and most likely pick up your phone/ tablet to check messages and surf the net…am I right?
Hereās the thing…just like a hundred years ago, we still only have 24 hours in a day. Yet we try to cram in more than is humanly healthy or even possible.
We spend more time up in our heads than we do in our hearts – no wonder you might be spinning all the time.
If you havenāt unplugged and taken the time to just BE present, thereās no way to access whatās truly in your heart.
How do you do that? Well, let me tell you how.
Take time to āsmell the rosesā. Stop and actually notice what is right in front of you and take it in. I mean it, truly take it in!
Savour that coffee and taste it. Sip it slowly. Smell its aroma. Pause. Close your eyes and really taste and smell it. Donāt multitask.
Take a moment to notice your beautiful space, that smile on your childās face, your partner lying next to you. Be in that moment fully. Be truly present.
This simple daily ritual will make you feel more grounded and connected to the people around you. If you do this throughout your day, your stress levels will go down.
The next step is to carve out 15-30 minutes just for you first thing in the morning. If you have to, get up before everyone else. Donāt grab your phone as soon as you open your eyes.
Before you dial into production mode, create a morning ritual as a gift to yourself. Doing things just for you. Be in the receiving mode.
Youāll notice the benefits add up over time.Ā It will set the tone for the day. You will feel energized and you will take better care of yourself.
As the last step, a few times a day, start noticing what you are thinking about and how you are feeling.Ā
Half the time we are not present and we are lost in our thoughts. Worrying, planning, ruminating, replaying. You name it.
Stop the time travelling and bring yourself back to this moment in time. Just immerse yourself fully into what you are doing without allowing your mind to wander elsewhere.
Ā The easiest way to do that is to place your focus on the information inputted by your five senses. Right now.Ā
Stay there a while. Youāll see. In that place, there is no struggle or resistance.
See your relationships improve. Life has more meaning. You will be happier.
Try these steps out and keep me posted on the results you notice.
P.S.: Don’t miss my bi-weeklypodcast episodes and submit questions or topics of interest
Self-esteem is the greatest gift you can offer your child. How to foster a healthy sense of self, resilience and self-confidence in a child is not an easy task. It is not difficult in the sense of how to do it, it is difficult because of where we are today as a society. We have lost our way and forgotten the basic principles of parenting that help us raise children with healthy self-esteems. We have shifted our focus on externals, when really, self-esteem is an inside job. Healthy self-esteem is stable in independent of external accolades and circumstances. People today, all too often define themselves by externals. Thing is, these are fleeting.
The best way to start is a back to basics approach. A return to nurturing each child’s unique needs, and anchoring parenting choices to specific individual and family values. Simple is better, and more sustainable with the busy lives that we lead.
The first and simplest step to take on your journey to raise your child… is to start with you. Yes, you heard me right: YOU (the parent). You have to lead the way.
When you love yourself, you take better care of yourself (physically and emotionally), you make better choices, you are happier, you have healthier relationships, you are empowered, you have healthy boundaries, you donāt let external circumstances define you, you accept yourself fully, you are less judgmental of yourself and of others, and the list goes on and on.
The reason why we start with you, is simple. Children learn best by looking at what you do, rather than listening to what you say. That’s the bottom line. If you can develop true healthy self-esteem, your child has greater chances to follow in your footsteps. There is no way around it. You have to do the work. No short cuts.
I was reading a comment in an awesome Facebook group (Glorius Gut) I am a member of and it sparked the topic of my post this early Sunday morning. I made a comment on that group then I thought it would be worth sharing here…
So here goes, my two cents on being different.
What is so called “normal” today is not necessarily healthy. How do you not fall prey to peer pressure?
Focus on your values and what matters most to you. Be confident that different is also OK… at times it takes one person to be brave enough to be different and question the status quo to spark a movement.
It takes someone to lead the pack… why not you…when you differ a bit from your tribe, the natural response is discomfort and they will want to bring you back in. It’s a natural instinct from caveman days… where being different from your tribe placed the whole tribe in danger..
it is no longer the case. Your life and your children’slives are precious. Don’t worry so much that being different is bad… it’s not (even if people tell you it is).
Do what feels right in your gut, and don’t let that fear take over. When people see you stick to your guns and see how brave you are for doing so… then they will start asking questions, be curious… and you may spark some curiosity in them as a result. If not, worse case, people will respect your choices…
The best choices for you and your familymay not be the most popular choices, but they are YOURS, and because of that, they matter!
Here are a few examples of choices our family makes, that really don’t follow the norm: – we don’t have candy or sweets in the house or junk food – we trick or treat and then we donate the candy… we enjoy the fun of dressing up, going from door to door and being with friends – we don’t have cable and watch TV, we just have movie night, an odd show here and there on netflix if we are tired, sick or just want to snuggle… we find other ways to entertain ourselves or relax – we homeschool – we eat organic – the only plastic or electronic toys that entered our house were gifts and we keep those to the minimum… most toys are natural, homemade and creative – my child does not own an iPhone, an iPad, a WII… etc… – we only eat real food… – we rarely have dessert and if we do it is homemade and low in sugar – we are not vaccinated – our main health team are : chiropractor, naturopath, homeopath, energy healer, whom we see regularly for prevention … we go to the MD for emergencies š – we believe in metaphysical principles, quantum physics, energy etc…
These are but a few examples of us being different … and yet… we are not suffering and we still have friends š that accept us for who we are… and my daughter who is only 7 has always been kept informed of the why and the how of our choices so that she does not feel she is being “forbidden” just for the sake of us having authority over her. She understands the reason behind our choices… combined with teaching and modelling self love and self respect, and she would not dare hurt her own body or mind just to please others š
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