As we head into week 7 and I’m talking to more and more people online and offline, I am noticing we are all struggling with similar things.
Not knowing how long this will last can be unsettling and finding a rhythm that works is still a work in progress. We are still trying to navigate this new normal and figuring things out.
Due to the pandemic and related stressors, I have been focussing on helping as many people as I can.
These times are difficult for all of us and the social distancing is taking its toll on people. Parents are getting overwhelmed with having to work from home and homeschool, not being able to see loved ones or friends increases the sense of isolation, the complicated task of having to disinfect everything you buy can become burdensome, the lack of income is quite stressful as well… the list can go on and on.
People are reporting a variety of difficulties in coping with COVID19, such as fear and incessant worry, being angry or irritable, sleep problems, difficulty focussing and concentrating, being indecisive, increase consumption of substances compared to their usual intake, more conflict within the home.
I’ve heard comments like “I’m going nuts”, 😜 “This is insane”, “I’m losing it”, “My spouse and I are fighting all the time”, “I’m scared my parents will get sick”, “What if I get sick, who will take care of my kids?”….
There is no miraculous solution for this but apply some of the following strategies :
stay connected with friends and loved ones,
reconnect with your body,
practice self-care on a daily basis,
make time for yourself,
ask for help if you need it,
accept the situation for what it is and the feelings that arise,
focus on what you can control,
try to stay present as best as you can and remember that this will not last forever,
do all that you can to stay healthy,
minimize self-imposed stress,
accept that your normal way of functioning/living has to change,
it’s okay not to be productive all the time (these are stressful times,
you may need to rest more and take more breaks and do less),
make time for yourself,
create a realistic routine,
go on a news diet,
monitor your intake of substances
My psychology and coaching practices mainly focus on parenting, anxiety, stress management and coping with life transitions, such as what we are going through right now. So, if any of you were hesitating to reach out, please do not hesitate. I am here for you. I’m just a call ☎️ or an email away. All sessions are via video in the comfort of your home, your car or the park 🙂
If you are not sure about working one-on-one, I have also created with a friend anonline course to support you through the pandemic. We have set the price really low until May 15th in order to reach as many people as we can (ONLY $35). We know many people have been hit hard financially and cannot afford to hire a psychologist or a life coach.
This was our way to give back and contribute. 👐
🍃The course has 8 video lessons that cover topics such as coping with anxiety, parenting, helping kids out, dealing with uncertainty and fear, how to deal with the lack of control in this situation, how to best support your children through all this, and so much more. The videos have 4 hours of content and many FREE Bonuses, including guided meditations for children and adults and more free talks.
To be happy and successful at anything in your life you need to put yourself first and then you can take care of everyone else.
If you don’t love yourself, you will betray yourself over and over again. With time it will wear at your mind, body and soul…
This is why, as Caroline Myss says, people don’t heal. Because they are not willing to face the truth.
Did you know that self-esteem, boundaries and choices are all inter-connected?
If you’re not sure and want to experience it first hand, try this out for a week or two and notice if there has been a shift:
First step: Awareness. 🍃Start paying attention to ALL the choices you make throughout the day, big AND small. And notice the consequence of the choices you have just made. If you can journal about it to keep track. We easily forget!
Every single choice we make has an impact. Trust me!
Second step: Stop and think. 🍃Now that you realize how many choices we make in a single day. Take a second or two and notice the choice you are about to make and ask yourself this question:
Is what I’m about to do reflective of self-love or love of the other, or is it a choice based on fear or guilt or a sense of obligation?
Third step:Action. 🍃Now it is time to actually go into action. You’ve determined if this choice was out of love or not. If it is not, are you willing to pass, say no, set a boundary to honour yourself?
Still hesitating, then ask yourself “If I wasn’t scared or did not feel guilty or obligated, what would I do?” And do it!
Fourth step: Taking responsibility. 🍃 If you were able to make a choice based on self-love. That’s awesome. Keep it up. You will reap the benefits, no doubt about it.
If you still struggle with fear, guilt or sense of obligation, and let these emotions make the choices for you. That’s awesome too!
Huh? You wonder. Well yes. Now you know the source of your stress, overwhelm, burnt out, depression, anxiety… you name it.
You get to turn your life around NOW!
Before I let you go, keep this quote in mind:
“The life you have today is based on the choices you made yesterday and the life you will have tomorrow is based on the choices you make today.”
If you want to find happiness, be mindful of the choices you make. They matter more than you think!
🌿P.S.: Don’t miss my bi-weeklypodcast episodes and submit questions or topics of interest. Episodes 6 & 13 are relevant to today’s topic. A review on iTunes would help people find us!!
🌿ANNOUNCEMENT.: I’ve been working diligently on my membership site. It will be chock-full of resources of all kinds (online courses, audios, videos, PDFs, helpful lessons AND an online community where we can connect and ask questions, Q & A calls). All at a really affordable monthly price for those who cannot afford one-on-one coaching.
Those who know me, know that I aim to serve, so please submit any suggestions of content you would love to see in there or in my newsletter.
Wishing you all a ✨Happy New Year ✨and Health ❤️above all else. The rest will naturally follow!
I get it. In this day and age of instant gratification, everything moving at the speed of light and the pressure from peers and society to be highly productive, you might be wondering…
”Where does the time go?”
For me, I get caught up in the busy-ness of being a mom and my career. I can easily get distracted with a pile of chores and obligations and an endless to-do list.
We compare ourselves to others and feel we need to keep up, leaving us energetically drained, overwhelmed and possibly feeling as though life is passing you by.
Am I striking a chord?
If I am, I want you to know there IS a better way! Let me explain…
The first step is to stop the spin cycle and start making YOU the priority in your life again.
Admittedly, life was simpler 100 years ago. With no technology, things moved much slower. Not that people didn’t work hard, it was more about fewer things distracting us and filling our mind on a 24/ 7 basis.
For example, what’s the first thing you do when you lay down to rest after work?
Maybe close your eyes for a minute – and most likely pick up your phone/ tablet to check messages and surf the net…am I right?
Here’s the thing…just like a hundred years ago, we still only have 24 hours in a day. Yet we try to cram in more than is humanly healthy or even possible.
We spend more time up in our heads than we do in our hearts – no wonder you might be spinning all the time.
🌿 You barely woke up and you’re overwhelmed before the day even started.
What’s the first thing that pops into your head when you wake up in the morning? You can be guaranteed that it will set the mood for the day ahead.
Mindset is everything!
Our mindset impacts our mood, our behaviours and the choices we make.
When we consciously make an effort in the morning to keep our mindset in check, it will start your day on the right foot. And it makes all the difference.
Our mind in an incessant chatterbox. It never stops and it’s wired to pay attention to the negative.
Did you ever notice that?
Did you know that we have between 60 to 80 thousand thoughts a day? Imagine if most of your thoughts are negative. It can weigh down on your mood and your energy pretty quickly.
You’ll hear me say this over and over… pay attention to the present moment. It’s the only moment that really exists.
I want you to focus on what happens in your inner world and your outer world, at this precise moment. Yes, right now, as you read this.
You might not realize it but one harsh thought can lead to a storm of more negative harsh thoughts. Next thing you know you are sad, angry, resentful, frustrated because of the ongoing monologue going on in your head.
Remember that you hold the key to changing what happens in the privacy of your own mind. You can’t control people or external events but you can control how you choose to react to them.
On the path to a better life, we need two things: self-awareness and being kinder to ourselves.
How do I do that? You wonder.
The first thing I recommend is to live, as best you can, in the present moment.
When we are truly present, we pay more attention to what happens inside of us and outside. We are not lost in our minds. The by-product will be increased self-awareness.
The sooner you can incorporate living mindfully, the sooner you will calm the monkey brain. The less stress you will experience.
Mindfulness is not another fad technique, it is a way of living. You can’t change your mindset if you are not self-aware.
The second thing you need to do is to let go of judgment of yourself and others. Positive AND negative.
Judgment is a mind trap. Replace those judgments with self-compassion or just let them go. Try to resist the urge to judge.
Then shift your attention back to the present moment. Even if it is a difficult moment.
Just see and feel things as they are. Right now. Don’t resist, don’t label. Just observe what IS.
When you start doing that your mood will improve, your overall mindset will be more positive and you will be more productive. Overwhelm will be reduced drastically!
So, try this out for the next week. Combining noticing your mindset in the present moment and dropping all judgments.
Use certain cues to remind you to do this several times a day.
Until it becomes a habit, you can set an alarm on your phone a few times a day to start, or you can use walking through doorways as a reminder.
Pay attention to how you feel after a while. Chances are, the struggle will have gone.
P.S.: Don’t miss my bi-weekly podcast episodes and episode 3 is about letting go of judgment!
Children let out their genius through play, not through forced learning of facts to increase their IQ. Let them play freely and watch the genius come out of those wonderful bodies!… and then teach them perseverance!
It is always difficult to change habits, but keep your eye on the long term goal. Remember it only takes 21 days to change a habit. You are worth it. Trust that in the end you will be proud of yourself for doing it. Change means going outside of your comfort level, so don’t expect it to be easy or exciting at first, but know that the benefits of change will keep you motivated. Just try!