As we are bidding 2019 farewell, it is time to ✨welcome 2020 ✨and start on a loving note! ❤️
The year is ending and you find yourself feeling tired, depleted, burnt out, lost your passion for life and you’re just going through the motions.
You tell yourself that there has got to be more to life than this!
Let me tell you this. Every single choice you make matters!
Are you spending more time taking care of other people than of yourself?
As a result of being such an independent, fierce, productive woman, who can do it all, does it seems like you are not getting the support that you need?
Self-love is at the core of all the choices we make. And boundaries are the foundation for proper self-care.
What are you willing to accept from others and where do you draw the line?
We teach people how to treat us. And if we don’t value ourselves, our time, or our health, why would others?
Your actions speak louder than your words. Your boundaries are a reflection of your level of self-love and self-esteem.
If your boundaries are loose, you are signalling that you value others more than you do yourself.
Having healthy boundaries means asking for what we want in all spheres of our lives: work, family, kids, partners, friends.
To be happy and successful at anything in your life you need to put yourself first and then you can take care of everyone else.
If you don’t love yourself, you will betray yourself over and over again. With time it will wear at your mind, body and soul…
This is why, as Caroline Myss says, people don’t heal. Because they are not willing to face the truth.
Did you know that self-esteem, boundaries and choices are all inter-connected?
If you’re not sure and want to experience it first hand, try this out for a week or two and notice if there has been a shift:
- First step: Awareness. 🍃Start paying attention to ALL the choices you make throughout the day, big AND small. And notice the consequence of the choices you have just made. If you can journal about it to keep track. We easily forget!
Every single choice we make has an impact. Trust me!
- Second step: Stop and think. 🍃Now that you realize how many choices we make in a single day. Take a second or two and notice the choice you are about to make and ask yourself this question:
Is what I’m about to do reflective of self-love or love of the other, or is it a choice based on fear or guilt or a sense of obligation?
- Third step: Action. 🍃Now it is time to actually go into action. You’ve determined if this choice was out of love or not. If it is not, are you willing to pass, say no, set a boundary to honour yourself?
Still hesitating, then ask yourself “If I wasn’t scared or did not feel guilty or obligated, what would I do?” And do it!
- Fourth step: Taking responsibility. 🍃 If you were able to make a choice based on self-love. That’s awesome. Keep it up. You will reap the benefits, no doubt about it.
If you still struggle with fear, guilt or sense of obligation, and let these emotions make the choices for you. That’s awesome too!
Huh? You wonder. Well yes. Now you know the source of your stress, overwhelm, burnt out, depression, anxiety… you name it.
You get to turn your life around NOW!
Before I let you go, keep this quote in mind:
“The life you have today is based on the choices you made yesterday and the life you will have tomorrow is based on the choices you make today.”
If you want to find happiness, be mindful of the choices you make. They matter more than you think!
🌿P.S.: Don’t miss my bi-weekly podcast episodes and submit questions or topics of interest. Episodes 6 & 13 are relevant to today’s topic. A review on iTunes would help people find us!!
🌿ANNOUNCEMENT.: I’ve been working diligently on my membership site. It will be chock-full of resources of all kinds (online courses, audios, videos, PDFs, helpful lessons AND an online community where we can connect and ask questions, Q & A calls). All at a really affordable monthly price for those who cannot afford one-on-one coaching.
Those who know me, know that I aim to serve, so please submit any suggestions of content you would love to see in there or in my newsletter.
Wishing you all a ✨Happy New Year ✨and Health ❤️above all else. The rest will naturally follow!
With gratitude, 🌿
I get it. In this day and age of instant gratification, everything moving at the speed of light and the pressure from peers and society to be highly productive, you might be wondering…
”Where does the time go?”
For me, I get caught up in the busy-ness of being a mom and my career. I can easily get distracted with a pile of chores and obligations and an endless to-do list.
We compare ourselves to others and feel we need to keep up, leaving us energetically drained, overwhelmed and possibly feeling as though life is passing you by.
Am I striking a chord?
If I am, I want you to know there IS a better way! Let me explain…
The first step is to stop the spin cycle and start making YOU the priority in your life again.
Admittedly, life was simpler 100 years ago. With no technology, things moved much slower. Not that people didn’t work hard, it was more about fewer things distracting us and filling our mind on a 24/ 7 basis.
For example, what’s the first thing you do when you lay down to rest after work?
Maybe close your eyes for a minute – and most likely pick up your phone/ tablet to check messages and surf the net…am I right?
Here’s the thing…just like a hundred years ago, we still only have 24 hours in a day. Yet we try to cram in more than is humanly healthy or even possible.
We spend more time up in our heads than we do in our hearts – no wonder you might be spinning all the time.
If you haven’t unplugged and taken the time to just BE present, there’s no way to access what’s truly in your heart.
How do you do that? Well, let me tell you how.
Take time to “smell the roses”. Stop and actually notice what is right in front of you and take it in. I mean it, truly take it in!
Savour that coffee and taste it. Sip it slowly. Smell its aroma. Pause. Close your eyes and really taste and smell it. Don’t multitask.
Take a moment to notice your beautiful space, that smile on your child’s face, your partner lying next to you. Be in that moment fully. Be truly present.
This simple daily ritual will make you feel more grounded and connected to the people around you. If you do this throughout your day, your stress levels will go down.
The next step is to carve out 15-30 minutes just for you first thing in the morning. If you have to, get up before everyone else. Don’t grab your phone as soon as you open your eyes.
Before you dial into production mode, create a morning ritual as a gift to yourself. Doing things just for you. Be in the receiving mode.
You’ll notice the benefits add up over time. It will set the tone for the day. You will feel energized and you will take better care of yourself.
As the last step, a few times a day, start noticing what you are thinking about and how you are feeling.
Half the time we are not present and we are lost in our thoughts. Worrying, planning, ruminating, replaying. You name it.
Stop the time travelling and bring yourself back to this moment in time. Just immerse yourself fully into what you are doing without allowing your mind to wander elsewhere.
The easiest way to do that is to place your focus on the information inputted by your five senses. Right now.
Stay there a while. You’ll see. In that place, there is no struggle or resistance.
See your relationships improve. Life has more meaning. You will be happier.
Try these steps out and keep me posted on the results you notice.
P.S.: Don’t miss my bi-weekly podcast episodes and submit questions or topics of interest
With gratitude 🌿
🌿 You barely woke up and you’re overwhelmed before the day even started.
What’s the first thing that pops into your head when you wake up in the morning? You can be guaranteed that it will set the mood for the day ahead.
Mindset is everything!
Our mindset impacts our mood, our behaviours and the choices we make.
When we consciously make an effort in the morning to keep our mindset in check, it will start your day on the right foot. And it makes all the difference.
Our mind in an incessant chatterbox. It never stops and it’s wired to pay attention to the negative.
Did you ever notice that?
Did you know that we have between 60 to 80 thousand thoughts a day? Imagine if most of your thoughts are negative. It can weight down on your mood and your energy pretty quickly.
You’ll hear me say this over and over… pay attention to the present moment. It’s the only moment that really exists.
I want you to focus on what happens in your inner world and your outer world, at this precise moment. Yes, right now, as you read this.
You might not realize it but one harsh thought can lead to a storm of more negative harsh thoughts. Next thing you know you are sad, angry, resentful, frustrated because of the ongoing monologue going on in your head.
Remember that you hold the key to changing what happens in the privacy of your own mind. You can’t control people or external events but you can control how you choose to react to them.
On the path to a better life, we need two things: self-awareness and being kinder to ourselves.
How do I do that? You wonder.
The first thing I recommend is to live, as best you can, in the present moment.
When we are truly present, we pay more attention to what happens inside of us and outside. We are not lost in our minds. The by-product will be increased self-awareness.
The sooner you can incorporate living mindfully, the sooner you will calm the monkey brain. The less stress you will experience.
Mindfulness is not another fad technique, it is a way of living. You can’t change your mindset if you are not self-aware.
The second thing you need to do is to let go of judgment of yourself and others. Positive AND negative.
Judgment is a mind trap. Replace those judgments with self-compassion or just let them go. Try to resist the urge to judge.
Then shift your attention back to the present moment. Even if it is a difficult moment.
Just see and feel things as they are. Right now. Don’t resist, don’t label. Just observe what IS.
When you start doing that your mood will improve, your overall mindset will be more positive and you will be more productive. Overwhelm will be reduced drastically!
So, try this out for the next week. Combining noticing your mindset in the present moment and dropping all judgments.
Use certain cues to remind you to do this several times a day.
Until it becomes a habit, you can set an alarm on your phone a few times a day to start, or you can use walking through doorways as a reminder.
Pay attention to how you feel after a while. Chances are, the struggle will have gone.
P.S.: Don’t miss my bi-weekly podcast episodes and episode 3 is about letting go of judgment!
With gratitude, 🌿