I am only a third of the way through Dr. Shefali’s second book “Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Doesn’t Work… and What Will”. I am quite pleased with the content, just as I was with her other book ‘The Conscious Parent”. Just to give you a taste of the book, here are a few sample quotes I have already come across:
If you believe that discipline is a vital aspect of parenting, then you assume that children are inherently undisciplined and need to be civilized.
Because discipline focusses on the behaviour and not on the feelings driving the behaviour, it undercuts the very thing we are trying to accomplish.
Stop imposing lessons on your children, allow the lesson to emerge naturally out of the situation. Punishement does NOT work.
To berate our children for their behaviour while aiding and abetting it is to compound the damage we are doing.
Unless we identify and untangle our emotional patterns, we will unwittingly foster dysfunctional behaviour in our children
All conflict with our children originates with our own internal subconscious conflicts.
I can’t rave enough about Dr. Shefali’s approach to parenting and about the books she has birthed through the process. If from the moment a child is born, parents would parent in this fashion, their family lives would be so much more serene, enjoyable, and less stressful and mind boggling.
I was lucky enough to have my daughter at a later age (42). I had the fun, the career, world travels, and through life experiences, and therapy, gained the wisdom to parent from within. My daughter is a testament and proof that conscious parenting is the most fulfilling way to parent, and the most beneficial to her growth and uniqueness. Watching her blossom into the amazing human being she already was born to be is simply a gift. All this without any hidden agenda on my part of who she should become, what she should like, how she should be. She is my greatest teacher on how to parent her, and she continues to help me grow up and grow from within.
Parenting, although the toughest job in the world, doesn’t have to be the most stressful job in the world. It CAN be the most beautiful spiritual journey you have ever taken. Try it.