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eyes by Alexandru ZdrobăuSome people hated mother Teresa, or Oprah… Goes to prove you can’t please everyone. You can’t control what people think of you and you can’t have it control you.

Whether it’s an opinion, a life choice, the way you dress, the music you like, the religion you follow or don’t follow, there will always be someone who disagrees with your chosen path. It is well known that many famous people and pioneers, initially were not well liked. People don’t like change, don’t like “different”. It makes them uncomfortable. Change requires people to stretch a little and not every one is ready to do so. Some people may criticize your choices out of insecurity because it forces them to question their own choices or the status quo.

It takes courage to go against the flow, to make unpopular choices that people attempt to force you to justify. What if her or his choice mean that my choices are wrong? Can often be the underlying insecurity.

Some people go through life being people pleasers at their own expense. They make other people happy, they avoid conflict or rocking the boat, but at what price. Over the years, people pleasing takes a toll on an individual, and it is not uncommon, years later, to see these people in my office, suffering with depression, anxiety, have pent up anger and resentments, etc. To later realize they’ve compromised their choices because they were scared of what people might think. And then to be resentful of the same people they attempted to please because they chose to not care what people thought of them.

When dying people are interviewed, one of the wishes that keeps coming up is that they should have lived the life they wanted to live not the one people wanted them to live.

So live your life fully, do no harm, and remember that what people think of you is really none of your business. You can’t make everyone happy and not everyone will like you. That’s simply a fact, deal with it, and carefully pick the ones who will have the privilege of being part of your life.

And remember this, trying to please everyone, in a way is a very selfish and controlling act, as you rob people of the freedom to respond to the real you, you are doing impression management, and in no way is this an authentic way to live life!

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