Some people hated mother Teresa, or Oprah… Goes to prove you can’t please everyone. You can’t control what people think of you and you can’t have it control you.
Whether it’s an opinion, a life choice, the way you dress, the music you like, the religion you follow or don’t follow, there will always be someone who disagrees with your chosen path. It is well known that many famous people and pioneers, initially were not well liked. People don’t like change, don’t like “different”. It makes them uncomfortable. Change requires people to stretch a little and not everyone is ready to do so. Some people may criticize your choices out of insecurity because it forces them to question their own choices or the status quo.
It takes courage to go against the flow, to make unpopular choices that people attempt to force you to justify. What if her or his choice mean that my choices are wrong? Can often be the underlying insecurity.
Some people go through life being people pleasers at their own expense. They make other people happy, they avoid conflict or rocking the boat, but at what price. Over the years, people-pleasing takes a toll on an individual, and it is not uncommon, years later, to see these people in my office, suffering with depression, anxiety, have pent up anger and resentments, etc. To later realize they’ve compromised their choices because they were scared of what people might think. And then to be resentful of the same people they attempted to please because they chose to not care what people thought of them.
When dying people are interviewed, one of the wishes that keeps coming up is that they should have lived the life they wanted to live not the one people wanted them to live.
So live your life fully, do no harm, and remember that what people think of you is really none of your business. You can’t make everyone happy and not everyone will like you. That’s simply a fact, deal with it, and carefully pick the ones who will have the privilege of being part of your life.
And remember this, trying to please everyone, in a way is a very selfish and controlling act, as you rob people of the freedom to respond to the real you, you are doing impression management, and in no way is this an authentic way to live life!
Image courtesy of khunaspix at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
This life is short. It is really, really short. Before you know it, you’ve flown through adolescence, having kids and you are middle aged! Pondering on your past, on the future that is yet to come and you are at a crossroads. Do I continue to live life this way? Or do you decide, “Enough! There has got to be more to life than this!”
There is no dress rehearsal. This is it. This is the only life you’ve got. So what are you gonna make of it? How will you live the other half of your life? Will you live in fear? Will you keep putting off till tomorrow what you can do today?
And if you are still young reading this, what path will you choose for yourself? Live the life your parents, your friends, society wants you to live or will you be the pilot of your own plane?
Don’t live the kind of life that will fill you with regrets. Take risks, face your fears, make the leap, you might be surprised to see what amazing life awaits you.
We all have the potential inside of us to be blissfully happy, there is no need to dig, no need to excavate. It is right there inside you. You just need to stop for a moment. Touch that stillness inside of you and there lie all the answers you are waiting for. They are there for you to grasp. They are not far, and they surely are not outside of you.
Get rid of the clutter of thoughts in your mind that keep you distracted with useless and senseless gibberish. They are only thoughts, memories, feelings, judgements that are fleeting. They are meant to pass. They are not meant for you to take a hold of and linger there. Just like snowflakes or raindrops, you don’t stop at each and every one of them, you just know it’s snowing or raining, and you know that the storm shall pass, so you live on. Those thoughts of yours are the same. Only a few have useful meaning, the rest is just clutter that distracts you from your true essence. They are lies that you believe.
Let it all go, and soon you will see what YOU are made of. What are your dreams, your aspirations, your passions? Are you living up to them or are you letting them pass you by?
I leave you with these beautiful words that have inspired me, and am sure many more. Pass them along, spread the love (self-love) and joy. Remember, this is IT. No do-overs. Live up to your full potential 🙂
(see the Action step at the bottom of this post. DO it 🙂 !)
What Are You Waiting For?”
Are you waiting on a lightening strike
Are you waiting for the perfect night
Are you waiting ’til the time is right?
What are you waiting for?
Don’t you wanna learn to deal with fear?
Don’t you wanna take the wheel and steer?
Don’t you wait another minute here?
What are you waiting for?What are you waiting for?You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You’re only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don’t you be afraid if you fall
You’re only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?Are you waiting for the right excuse?
Are you waiting for a sign to choose?
While you’re waiting it’s the time you lose
What are you waiting for?
Don’t you wanna spread your wings and fly?
Don’t you really wanna live your life?
Don’t you wanna love before you die?
What are you waiting for?What are you waiting for?You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You’re only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don’t you be afraid if you fall
You’re only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?[2x]
Tell me what you’re waiting for?
Show me what you’re aiming for?
What you gonna save it for?
So what you really waiting for?
Everybody’s gonna make mistakes
But everybody’s got a choice to make
Everybody needs a leap of faith
When are you taking yours?
What are you waiting for?
You gotta go and reach for the top
Believe in every dream that you got
You’re only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
And don’t you be afraid if you fall
You’re only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You gotta go and reach for the top
What are you, what are you waiting for?
Believe in every dream that you got
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You know you gotta give it your all
What are you, what are you waiting for?
You’re only living once so tell me
What are you, what are you waiting for?
What are you, what are you?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
What are you, what are you?
What are you, what are you waiting for?
Action step: Are you ready? Make an inventory of your life to date. Answer those questions above. Decide today, that from this point on you will live YOUR life, not the one others think you should live. Stop putting things off. This IS truly the greatest gift you can give yourself: A true act of self-love. And it IS the greatest gift you can pass on to your children, because they TOO need to live their life, here and now. Not the one you aspire for them based on YOUR dreams but based on theirs :-).
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Some people hated mother Teresa, or Oprah… Goes to prove you can’t please everyone. You can’t control what people think of you and you can’t have it control you.
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