In answer to the question in the title, I know I certainly was. I had a whole committee of voices in my head commenting on my every move. I could readily relate to the oft quoted saying around twelve step programs referring to our thoughts as the “itty bitty shitty committee”. This committee was relentlessly judging my past mistakes, and filling my head with needless worry about the future, “You made a mess of that” or “What will everyone think?”
So much of my energy was wasted on these incessant worry and regret thoughts! I look at pictures of myself from 15 years ago and I look older than I do today. Happily, I learned the Ishayas Ascension meditation back in 1997. It helped change my relationship to thoughts. I became the observer of the mind. I was so relieved that this meditation was not about trying to stop thoughts…how exhausting. These techniques, based on praise, gratitude and love, helped me turn my attention inward to the infinite, peaceful experience resting beyond the mind.
I had learned numerous forms of prayer as a Catholic nun, but none offered a practice to use during daily activity. That, for me, was one of the hallmarks of this Teaching that intrigued me. I remember one of my first times using the praise attitude while driving, and having this feeling of fullness and joy well up inside as I gazed and actually noticed the beauty around me vs. ticking off “to do” lists in my head.
I invite you to notice how often in your day you are barely present to what you are doing. While your body is present in one activity, your mind has moved on to planning the hours that lie ahead of you.
At work, you are thinking of being home, and at home, you are planning your work activities.
The Ascension techniques, or attitudes, made the dramatic shift of helping me remain fully present to right NOW. From that, life unfolds magically and effortlessly. I find I am guided much more by intuition rather than the egoic mind. That ittty bitty committee still tries to grab my attention, but I find it fairly amusing these days. I don’t listen to it, as I have a far greater experience to pay attention to…a vast, silent cosmos of endless peace and infinite light. It is right here, as close as our very breath, waiting to be discovered….remembered. We need only value ourselves enough to take the time to explore our infinite nature through a meditation practice.
The Ishayas’ Ascension is one practice which offers guidance and programs that direct you to your true home within.
What are you waiting for?
Avya Devi Ishaya is a teacher of the Bright Path Ishayas’ Ascension, as well as a practitioner of various healing modalities. Please visit www.peaceinfusion for more information.
She will be teaching a week-end meditation course October 25-27th in downtown Ottawa.